Monash Gryphons Amateur Football Club

Can be downloaded from here.

1. Name?

Geoff Still

2. Age?

28

3. Place of Birth?

Kilmore

4. Year joined Gryphs?

2004

What position do you normally play?

Wherever it is required, mainly on ball or resting forward flanker.

6. AFL team supported?

Essendon

7. Favourite player as a young fella?

Billy Duckworth, because he could dish out the rough stuff and take it also.

8. If there was one rule in football you could change, what would it be?

Outlaw any free kicks being paid against me.

9. Favourite footballing moment (as a player or spectator)?

Winning 2001 Grandfinal in RDFL and going through the season undefeated.

10. Team you hate playing against the most?

Anyone that has Collingwood colours, as they’re all scumbags!

11. Beyonce or J-Lo?

Why chose either, I’ll be greedy and have both

12. Hilary Duff or Lindsay Lohan?

Hilary Duff

13. Fish and chips or sushi?

Sushi

14. Name one band/singer you could erase from existence, and why?

15. Any thoughts on trucker hats?

Totally unnecessary piece of equipment

16. Favourite cheese?

Bega Super Slim slices.

17. If you were a flavour of ice cream, what would it be and why?

Bubblegum, as you think you know what it tastes like, but can be totally surprised from one ice cream to the next.

18. Is Michael Jackson a child inside the body of a man, or a man stuck inside a small boy?

Who really cares???? Sicko either way.

19. If there was one question you could add to this list, what would it be?

Favourite Gryph’s personality?? G-Money would win the poll hands down.

20. Who will win the Monash Gryphons senior Best and Fairest in 2005?

Declined to comment

GRYPHONS FALL SHORT IN GRUDGE MATCH

Final Score – Seniors

Monash Gryphons 17.18.120 lost to South Melbourne Districts 19.13.127

Goals and Best to Come

Final Score – Reserves

Monash Gryphons 7.12.54 lost to South Melbourne Districts 9.11.65

Goals and Best to Come

Monash Gryphons were overrun in the last quarter by South Melbourne Districts, losing by seven points in Saturday’s game at East Caulfield Reserve.

The Gryphons scored the first two goals of the game, coming from Chris Leeton and Dave Bradshaw, before the Bloods opened their account. Walter Pocock then snapped a great goal from ground level. South then controlled proceedings for the rest of the quarter, and ended up in front at quarter time by two points, despite Nick Rutherford and Jay Garoni responding with goals.

Both sides were under plenty of physical scrutiny, and Gryphons’ coach Steve Bourbon emphasised to his players that they must support each other in these circumstances. These words had the desired effect, as Monash set up plenty of opportunities, many from set shots, but only Adrian Flowerday was able to make the most of these early chances. The home side eventually hit their straps with Bradshaw goaling again after some great team play and Flowerday also getting his second major, before Brett McNamara goaled from a piece of play set up by a booming Jordan Stratford roost.

The Gryphs took a nineteen lead into the second half, but South hit back with the first three goals of the term, before Leeton and Flowerday added to their earlier tallies. The Bloods then hit another hat trick of goals, before Ryan Sharkey capped off a nice bit of play by marking and converting. Bradshaw then made it three for the game, and Flowerday scored his fourth, before South kicked two in a row. Lee Wells and Jon Rutherford both goaled after great play out of the centre to give the Gryphs a fourteen point lead going into the final break.

The final quarter had barely gotten underway when South called a player count. Fortunately, no-one had any extra players, but it may have subconsciously changed the course of the game. After Wells goals to cancel out South’s opener, the visitors scored the final four goals of the games to win by seven points. The Gryphs were certainly not starved of opportunities, but 1.5 in the last term certainly won’t win too many matches.

Can be downloaded from here.

1. Name?

Matt Willocks (Disco / Smooth / Glass)

2. Age?

24

3. Place of Birth?

Royal Womens Hospital – Caulfield Australia

4. Year joined Gryphs?

2003

5. What position do you normally play?

Back flank

6. AFL team supported?

Mighty Pies

7. Favourite player as a young fella?

Peter Daicos

8. If there was one rule in football you could change, what would it be?

They should allow swearing

9. Favourite footballing moment (as a player or spectator)?

Any moment involving Capper

10. Team you hate playing against the most?

Latrobe at Latrobe – Massive ground

11. Beyonce or J-Lo?

Beyonce hands down – “Shake that ass baby”

12. Hilary Duff or Lindsay Lohan?

Duffy

13. Fish and chips or sushi?

Cooked fish always tasted better to me?

14. Name one band/singer you could erase from existence, and why?

Casey Donovan – Can’t sing and has 3 chins, plus Australian idol is for f*ckwits

15. Any thoughts on trucker hats?

Woeful creations that should be reserved only for rednecks, people with mullets and anyone residing in the suburbs of Moe, Chirnside Park and Koo Wee Rup

16. Favourite cheese?

Coon

17. If you were a flavour of ice cream, what would it be and why?

Bubble-gum because it rocks

18. Is Michael Jackson a child inside the body of a man, or a man stuck inside a small boy?

He’s a fruit loop stuck inside a coco pop

19. If there was one question you could add to this list, what would it be?

How did Mark Pallouci get the nickname Harpo?

20. Who will win the Monash Gryphons senior Best and Fairest in 2005?

Quadsy (Liam) ” He’s had a stunning pre-season, looking fit and Bourbs loves him just a little too much

Football fans are always curious as to what their favourite footballers get up to in their spare time, and Gryphons fans are no exception. In an attempt to whet your appetite and stave off your curiousity, the Gryph Gazette presents:

WHAT I DID DURING THE SUMMER HOLIDAYS…………..

Vaughan Coffey – Spent a lot of time in his personal bar, trying to come up with a signature drink, before settling on the Vaughan Coffee, which is Bundaberg rum mixed with the finest Colombian coffee.

Phil Knight – Played Football Manager 2005, guiding Altrincham from Conference North to European Champions in twelve seasons. Also lost twelve stone due to malnutrition bought on by FMA (Football Manager Addiction).

Mark Graydon – A big fan of Dr. Cindy Pan (and especially her funky ‘do) from her appearances on “The Panel,” he now drinks nothing but PhysiCal.

Adrian Flowerday – Focused his on-field aggression into a short-lived career in the squared circle, using the Pocock Twelve composition “Flowerday Nights (Alright For Fighting),” basically a rote rip-off of a certain Elton John song.

Andrew Waters – Was a member of “The Flanatics,” an Australian tennis supporters’ group who would throw baked dishes at whomever would take their fancy. Notorious Belgian pie flinger Noel Godin (he of the Bill Gates incident) is an honourary vice president.

Mick Mastromanno, Matt Bourbon, Craig Archer, Simon Dresser – Formed the Dougie McKenna Appreciation Society.

Andrew Nichols – Created Italian cuisine based on characters created by Jim Henson, and called it “Pasta of Muppets.” Used a similarly named song by Metallica for the TV advertisement jingle.

Matthew Healy – Had a summer residence at the Belgian Beer Cafe performing Jacques Brel tunes. Without fail, would always dedicate “Madeleine” to his sister in law, and “Les Bonbons” to Steve Bourbon and the rest of the Bourbon family. Next summer, plans to pay tribute to Faithless, because in his own words, “Maxi Jazz is my personal Christ.”

Andrew Clarke – Due to Equity regulations preventing more than one performer having the same name, used his stage name of Desmond Edmondson to gain plumb roles such as “Rioting Peasant #7″ in “A Porsche, A Porsche, My Kingdom For A Porsche,” “Bottleshop Attendant” in “A Drunkard’s Realm,” and “Crash Crampley,” the sports presenter in the satirical news program, “Channel 6 News (number six in the community for over six years).”

Tim Bourbon – Formed Guns N’Roses cover band, “Chinese Democracy,” who were notorious for their procrastination.

Adam Moore – Played the role of Marshall Sherriff in television’s “The Gun Shooter.”

Jonathan Watson – Worked on his pout, but was unable to put it to use when the rest of Stuntcock voted 3-1 against changing the band’s direction towards glam rock. Later went solo, and formed hair metal band “Glitterama.”

Walter Pocock – Auctioned off sponsorship of his headband to the highest bidder.

Chris Leeton – Would not wash for weeks, as he was selling his pheromones for commercial purposes.

Andrew McKenzie – Drum technician for the Melbourne footballers’ rock band “No Soup For You” during their tour of social clubs such as Leigh Oak and The Bentleigh Club.

Glen Wadley – Wrote thesis disproving the cliche “Real Men Don’t Eat Quiche,” reasoning that blokes like bacon and eggs, and love pies, and therefore a combination of the two should be the ultimate bloke food.

Michael Lewis – Taught people how to play blues harp, using the name Howlin’ Blind Froggy Boy Lewis.

Liam Clark – Encouraged by the use of Babylon Zoo’s “Spaceman” for the updated “Battlestar Galactica” series, bought the rights to the follow up “Animal Army,” hoping Channel Ten would use it in promoting the upcoming Paul Bateman production “Battle Beasts.”

Brett Coxhead – Wore his hair extra floppy, along with a top hat, monocle, cane, and waxed moustache. Insisted that everything he had to do was done with the “velveteen touch of a dandy fop.”

Paul Rennison – Boasted about smuggling twenty ounces of Afghan hashish into Australia. When asked how, he replied “In my bloodstream.”

Rowan Coxhead – Returned to New Zealand, doing a pre-season with provincial rugby team Taranaki, hoping to play in the NPC for The ‘Naki.

Geoffrey Still – Fed up with western society, he joined up with Golden Lotus lamasery, a buddhist monk academy. Help them win the Lake Iwannapee Funlympics for the first time in 500 years against the rich kids’ camp on the other side of the lake.

Nick and Jon Rutherford – Underwent experimental surgery to conjoin them as Siamese twins. Pundits everywhere claimed that we would finally see Nick kick with his left foot, and Jon with his right. However, this failed when Nick’s right side was joined up with Jon’s left, with tragic consequences.

Anthony Denyer – “Mr. December” in upcoming “Men of Monash Gryphons” calendar.

Darren Grenfell – Went on a Troy Luff pilgramage over 34 days and 34 nights.

Craig Robinson – Costume double for Colin Farrell in “Alexander,” as Farrell would refuse to wear the attire of the day (which, according to the film, looked quite poncy).

Peter Williamson – Principal writer of “Assassin of Love.” Also appeared as “Brandon Pepper” in faux Gryphons documentary “Year Of The Lying Dogs,” a dramatisation of the 1998 season starring Billy Bob Thornton as “Larry Bryant.” Currently working on his next screenplay, “The Masked Nerd.”

Gavin Block – Hair farming.

Ryan Gilchrist – Appeared as Secret Agent 0.07 in “Unlicensed To Drive.”

Adam Perry – Had a short term fling (about four hours) with Paris Hilton, but admitted he thought she didn’t like him very much, as she barely had sex with him.

Charlie Yanni and Ab Yanni – While forming their new “boy band,” constantly argued over how many members there should be (Charlie favoured five-piece groups, while Ab preferred four). Later insisted they were a “man band,” and dressed like the group Manowar.

Gareth Kent – Played Sandy Cheeks in the Barcelona production of “Esponja Bob Cuadrado Pantalones En Hielo” (the Spanish language version of “Spongebob Squarepants On Ice”). Curiously, did not even require a mask to fulfill this role.

Dan Baxter – Voted “Most Manly” by www.gryphchat.com website users.

Steve Bourbon – Won The Bourbon Family “Bono look-alike” contest for the 12th straight year (out of the 12 years it has been running). Also drummer for alt-rockers “The Maginot Line.”

Nazz Citera – Beat the hell out of Matt Healy, after Heals kept on referring to Nazz as “Peter Cetera” and insisting he sing that song out of “Karate Kid III.”

Ryan Sharkey – Beat the hell out of Matt Healy, after Heals kept referring to him as “Fearghal Sharkey,” and insisting he sing “You Little Thief” and “A Good Heart.”

Pat Stirling – Auditioned to be the male centrefold in the revival of that concept for “Cosmopolitan” magazine.

Andrew Grady – Sat around the campfire in his backyard, composing more witty satirical songs. Has now added one of those Bob Dylan harmonica frame thingies, but this is little more than an affectation until he can afford lessons from Howlin’ Blind Froggy Boy Lewis.

Damian Bolle and Paul Tobin – Appeared in various wine bars around Melbourne playing Hall and Oates covers. Curiously, Damo would perform both the singing and guitar playing parts, leaving Tobes to just stand on stage in a comedy moustache and perm combo.

Phil Warren – Expanded his business empire to include music promotion, bringing out Heeb-Hop stars 50 Shekel and Jew Unit (check ‘em out, they’re great!).

Mark Paolucci – While at Lou Lou’s Lounge Bar (part of Knox O-Zone), was constantly badgered by fellow patrons. After two hours of furious denial, finally admitted he was indeed Napoleon Dynamite.

Ben Clark – Singlehandedly tried to revive Faberge stretch jeans as fashionable.

Gerard Roche – Spent a lot of time wandering aloud “Whatever happened to Chrissy Lane?”

(After reading this, even more people wandered aloud “Who is Chrissy Lane?” Well, she was hot, man. Honestly.)

Matt Willocks – Submitted a series of characters for consideration by McDonald’s, including white collar criminal the Hambezzler, which were immediately rejected.

Phil Gomizel – The latest in a long line of Australian born “ethnic” comedians, he would relate to audiences his experiences about growing up Slovenian-Indian in Glen Waverley, such as learning to ski on a mound of steamed basmati rice in the backyard, with cricket bats strapped to the bottom of his feet.

Dave Walter – Even he has no idea.

Adam Jenkin – Understudy to Woodley in Lano and Woodley’s recent production “The Island.”

John Leroy – Recorded an old Boz Scaggs song, retitling it “Leroy Shuffle.”

Jeremy Landberg – Won first prize in Gerard Roche lookalike contest, second place in Shaggy from Scooby Doo lookalike contest, but only third prize in Jeremy Landberg lookalike contest.

Chris Staff – Appeared in an adult movie set in medieval times, “Thine Velvet Sheath,” using the nom de porn “Chris Longstaff.”

Nick Mitchell – Outperformed by a fake robot in TV ads for Myer Megamart.

Jordan Stratford – Appeared on TV as a hypnotist who would sent people into a deep sleep with his catchphrase “You’re tired!”

Jono Healy – Destitute from gambling, spent his summer days drinking metholated spirit Slurpees. Also, anticipating the ill health of Pope John Paul II, started new TV program “Pope Idol.”

David Healy – Voted “Fruitiest Sommelier” by the Australian Wine Appreciation Society. Also voted Australia’s Laziest Man, by watchers of “Australian Idle.”

Owen Lloyd – Mistaken for the Taffia (Welsh Mafia) leader of the same name, he would milk this for free top shelf spirits the whole summer.

Matt Malone – Formed a Ramones cover band called the Malones. Unlike the legendary “bruddas,” however, these guys were actually related.

Lee Wells – Filled in for #6 (The Clown) in Slipknot during the former’s enforced abscence.

Jim Gonis – Still insisting he was the guy in front of the tank at Tianamen Square in 1989.

Matt Parker – Beat Rowan Coxhead 4-2 (best of seven) in a head-to-head Ben Affleck look alike contest.

Jon Blandford – While researching his family tree, found out his surname is an anglicised version of the Norse “Blundfjord,” which means “Blandford” in English. Also bought himself a boat, naming it “Sloop Jon B.”

Can be downloaded from here.